


Pensive Reflections

by Azlykumos



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, Post-Coital Cuddling, aromantic Hien, my WoL, post-coital talking about crushes, pre-Doma Castle, trans!WoL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 17:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20934278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azlykumos/pseuds/Azlykumos
Summary: A few nights before the Domans retake Doma Castle, Hien and the Warrior of Light talk about their crushes.





	Pensive Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> First fic I've posted here? First fic I've posted here. I'll see about posting others.

Hien Rijin was not an indulgent man by nature. He took what life gave him, did not ask for much by way of the kami. He worked just as hard as any of his citizens, and did not ask for special treatment. Indulgence led to stagnation, or so Gosetsu told him often. 

That being said, he indulged a little, from time to time, and slept with those that offered. He enjoyed the connection of two, or even three, bodies, enjoyed sharing themselves with each other and discovering pleasure at another’s hand. Hien was never more sure of the divine than when he joined someone in their bed, and praised the kami for being blessed to know such intimacy and joy. 

He stroked through the curly hair of his partner, and tugged her closer to his side, pulling the blanket up around their waists. She clung to him, still panting and trembling, slowly recovering from her climax. 

“Are you alright, my friend?” He asked, stroking her hair, then the bright white tattoo on her cheek. 

“Mm—y-yeah—“ she tried, curling closer to him. “Wasn’t expecting something so intense…” 

Hien laughed softly and kissed her brow, pushing her hair away from her sweaty face. “You did wonderfully,” he murmured. “Thank you for indulging me.” 

“Indulging you?” She asked, huffing a laugh and pulling closer to him. “Mm… thank you for saying yes, I guess? You didn’t have to. I know you know about my stupid crush on you.” 

“Your… crush,” he said, blinking rapidly. “Helisent, I’m afraid I — you have a crush on me?” 

“Oh your voice cracked, that was cute,” she giggled, laying her head on his chest. “It’s just a crush. Happens a lot, really. It’ll be gone when we go back to Eorzea. Don’t worry, I don’t expect anything from you.” 

Hien let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and pet her hair some more. “My apologies, I … I’m never used to the idea that someone could like me that way.” 

Helisent lifted up one of her hands and traced over his chest, past some of the marks she had left, and across some of his scars. “What, romantically? Hien, you’re bright and cheery, you’re genuine and kind, and you’re extremely easy on the eyes. Of course people fancy you romantically. Probably dream about you reading them poetry under the moonlight.” 

“R-Right,” he muttered, coughing slightly. “I — really?” 

“Have you never noticed?” She asked, going to roll over on his chest and face him. He could barely see her in the dim light, only illuminated by the glowing crystals that made up the walls of the cave. But her eyes sparkled at him. 

“Should I have?” He asked in genuine confusion. “I thought people were being nice.” 

“You’re so sweet, but you’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel,” Helisent said fondly. 

“H-hey! That isn’t fair!” He laughed, settling back into the pillows and wrapping his arms around her. “I at least know how to read. Perhaps not a romantic situation, but…” 

“You’ve really never noticed?” She asked, eyes twinkling with mirth. “I can name four of your shinobi that dream of marrying you, I know three buduga who want you for their own, I’m fairly certain you could get an  _ auspice _ to fall in love with you—“ 

“Alright, Alright!” He said, laughing and letting his head fall back. “I suppose that might be true. But I … romance does not interest me. I grew up with the idea that whomever I married would be for political gain, and the thought never bothered me.” 

“So you’ve never even had a crush?” Hel asked curiously, tilting her head. “Strange. I get them so easy, it’s kind of annoying. But they go away easily enough.” 

“My first and only love has ever been Doma,” he said after a moment, frowning slightly. “Is that truly so strange?” 

Hel looked up at him, and reached up to stroke his chin. “... No. I don’t think so. Just a bit odd, I guess. No more odd than my crushes. Some people are made for romantic love, some aren’t. Just like how some people love sex, and others don’t. I think you fall into the ‘loves sex’ category.” 

A flush crept up Hien’s neck, and over his cheeks. “Is it such a crime, to love pleasures of the flesh?” 

Helisent chuckled at him softly, and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “No. I enjoy it too, though you seem to like it a little more than me. I cant really complain though, not when you fuck like that.” 

She stretched against him, pressing up against his side, and winced when her legs tensed. 

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He asked softly, brows furrowing in concern. 

“No, you didn’t, don’t worry,” she murmured. “I just haven’t had anyone  _ in _ me for a while. I’ll be a little sore, that’s all.” 

“Ah,” he hummed, and kissed her forehead. “Still, I worry. I know you and your sisters have been working hard here, in preparation for us taking Doma Castle. I don’t wish to make it harder on you.” 

“Hien, it’s just a dick up my ass, not a battle wound,” she laughed, and grinned even harder when he spluttered. “Honestly.” 

“Alright, I concede,” he laughed, and rubbed her back. “I  _ was _ fairly rough, though you enjoyed it…” 

“Mm, mmhm~” she agreed, pressing close to him. “That you were. It was nice. People think I’m breakable because I’m a woman, or because I’m a healer.” 

“Clearly they’ve never been at the mercy of your conjured storms,” Hien said dryly. “... what about you?” 

“Hm? What about me?” She asked, rubbing her fingers over his sideburns. 

“You’re a lovely person, surely someone has a crush on you,” he said, tilting his head. “A healer unmatched in the art, blessed by the kami of winds, lovely sense of humor… Surely someone has fallen for you by now.” 

She went quiet, and looked away. “Not anyone that really matters.” 

“And who matters?” He asked, rubbing his fingers through her locks of hair. “You clearly have someone in mind. A man back home in Eorzea? A woman you met on your travels?” 

“.... Lyse,” she admitted, after a moment. The name rang throughout the cavern, and she shrank slightly. “I thought it would’ve gone away already, but I keep thinking about her. I want to hold her hand, I want to talk with her for hours, I want to make her happy…” 

“Don’t tell me you decided to liberate Ala Mhigo simply because you love her,” he teased gently. 

“No! No of course not,” she said, flushing bright red. “But it… it wouldn’t hurt, right?” She asked, biting her lip. 

“Ah, young love…” he laughed, shaking his head. 

“You’re only a year older than me, shut up,” she growled back. 

“No, I don’t think it would hurt,” he laughed, and ruffled her hair. “Why don’t you just tell her?”

“B-because!” She said quickly, scrambling for a reason. “She’s got a lot on her plate, and I don’t want to add my feelings to it!” 

“We are not blessed to live forever, Helisent,” he remarked softly. “Every moment you dally is another moment you could spend with her. You don’t have to run to someone else’s arms to find comfort.”

She twitched as if she was hit, and then slowly hid her face. “... I … it’s hard. What if she doesn’t love me? What if she only loves me for what I do, not who I am?” 

“Forgive me for the proverb, but actions speak louder than words,” he reminded her gently. “What you do  _ is _ who you are. A kind person who cares so much that your heart is fit to burst. A woman who marches to liberate homelands that are not even her own. A lovely person who knows herself, and what she wants. I cannot think she would react negatively to that.” 

Helisent was quiet for a long moment, until he felt a few tears roll onto his chest. “I’m just… scared. I’ve already lost so much, and I don’t want to lose her too.” 

Hien scooped her up in a hug, squeezing tightly. “What is better, Helisent? To have loved and be loved, and come out better for it? Or to constantly wonder ‘what if’?” 

“... Point.” She murmured dully. “I’ll… I’ll tell her soon.” 

Hien nodded, and pulled the blankets up around them, until they covered their shoulders. “Good. Now, let’s get some sleep. We have another big day tomorrow, yes?” 

She curled closer to him, and wormed her arms around his middle. “... sorry if I kick you. Or steal the blankets. Or scream.” 

“All will be fine,” he responded, giving her a gentle kiss. “Sleep, and dream of a better tomorrow.” 


End file.
